We can fear many things, but the definition is always the same. Fear can hold us back from doing things that could be important or it will create anxiety that pushes us down a path that is not where we want to go. I recently read an article about a woman who feared flying and how she overcame that fear.
Fear seems to be one of the hardest things to overcome. I think that anyone that has ever lost a loved one knows the fear that comes after the loss. The fear that keeps you from getting out of bed, leaving the house or even looking at yourself in the mirror. It’s the overall fear to face your life without your loved one.
Fear is something we all need to push through to move forward in our lives. In the article the woman made a statement that resonated with me. She said she was so worried about the what ifs that she forgot about the what if. So instead of… what if I told him not to go to work or what if I would have done more good in my life? You can ask… what if I were to smile again? What if I find love? What if I become content with my life?
I think she makes a valuable point. It’s about training ourselves and the way we can perceive our future. Fear is a strong emotion, but it is also something that you can overcome.
“There is a time to take counsel of your fears, and there is a time to never listen to any fear.” ~George S. Patton
It’s the first Wednesday of the month and you know what that means…Widowed Blog Hop!
Life is full of surprises. There are moments when you feel like nothing good will come of it and others when a light shines on given opportunities. I asked myself quite often how I can change or influence others in a good way. How I can take the death of my husband and use it to benefit others. This may sound like a “crazy” question, but that is what goes through my mind. I want other widows and widowers to not feel alone in their grief. Don’t get me wrong, it is a journey that you will get through on your own but we all need support. I feel blessed that I have been able to connect with some great people who have something in common with me. And that’s losing their spouse.
We are all in different places in our journey, but have taken a step forward in our life story without our spouse. The support you get from someone who has been down your path or some variation of it is irreplaceable.
I want to commend all of the men and women that take the time to give us a glimpse of their reality. The words they share can bring a whole realm of emotions and that is when you know it is written honestly from the heart.
We have some new participants this month and I encourage all of my readers to check out what they have been doing and posting.
For ease, below is the list of participants in the hop.
When I lost my husband, I was angry at everyone. That included God. I thought to myself, how can someone that wants good to prevail over evil make a bad choice. He took my husband from me. I had people say to me that Mike is in a better place now. This infuriated me even more. I felt he belonged with me and his children.
One day I was speaking to the Chaplain about my anger towards God. With his one comment, he changed what I had believed and helped me understand faith a little bit more. He said, “God is not about good prevailing over evil. All God wants is to have a relationship with you.”
In all the church services and Bible studies that I had gone to I cannot remember once someone saying something that made so much sense to me. Suddenly a light bulb went off in my head and I gained a clearer perspective.
Before Mike’s death I had not thought much about faith or my relationship with God, except reading the Bible in its entirety when I was 14. I prayed many nights, but was not avid about going to church. I felt like I could never find the right church for me.
Faith has been a constant struggle. I am continuing to search and understand the meaning of faith. Now, when I talk to my children about their father they believe that Daddy is in heaven and watches over us. Yet, I have never taken either one of them to church.
What I can say about faith is that I do believe in a higher power and have certain morals that I uphold. I may struggle my whole life with faith and searching for complete understanding of what it means in my life. But that’s part of the relationship I am trying to build.
As Mother Teresa said “Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.”