Today I sit here with so much ahead of me. I think about my children and how they are growing. They seem to be advancing faster than I can keep up. I do constantly tell them that I plan on putting a brick on their head to keep them from growing.
I think about my “new” life with a man that has welcomed myself and my children into his life with open arms. Now as a widow you have a little baggage that comes along with that. So the mere fact that I got a second look from him after knowing this was a win for me. My life with him seems different that that of my late husbands. I was not sure how I could love anyone as much as my late husband, but it is possible. To have two men in my life that love and loved me for who I am is quite a blessing.
I am a different person now than I was before though. I sometimes wonder if my late husband would recognize me and we would still be the same as I am not. I also think about how strong and confident my fiancé is. How he accepts the facts of my late husband and I. How he lets me grieve when I need to holding me tighter with each tear. How I must have done something right in my life to have this now, after I thought for so long that I would never have another deep love again.
So today, I sit here, blessed with my life, children, future husband and all of my family (which does include many sets of in laws…lol).