I can remember the day when I looked up from my fish and realized I started to develop feelings for my friend. I was not sure what to do with them. I tried to rationalize them, then I thought can this even be possible? I waited a few weeks before I let him know. Then of all things I text him. Which makes me laugh. I should have probably told him face to face.
After our short text exchange we decided to go on a date to discuss this change of events. Moving from friendship to romantic definitely needed to be discussed. At this point I had no idea how he felt about me. I knew he was a supportive friend, but could or did his feeling change as mine did. That was the question I ran through my head over and over. Then I would analyze the times we hung out to see if he was giving me any sort of inclination that his feelings had.
By the time our date happened the pressure in my head was about to explode. Not to mention wondering what my children thought. I did not want to mention anything to them until the “adults” had their conversation.
I changed my clothes several times, probably putting too much thought into what I was going to wear. I walked out of my bedroom leaving my clothes strung all over the place and feeling very confident that I looked good.
I waited, peering out the window for his arrival. I wondered then how people would judge me, let alone judge him. This was a big deal to me. The first person I had feelings for after Mike…I never thought it would be possible.
As he pulled into my driveway, my fears changes to excitement. I thought tonight all of my questions will be answered. Some wishful thinking that all of the answers would come in one night…
Come back next week to find out what happened next…
Recently we went on a family vacation. It was something that my husband and I had been discussing to start doing in 2010. But he died before we took our first family vacation.
Our vacation reminded me of this and seeing the joy on my boys’ faces as they discovered new places was unbelievable. It brings sadness, yet a lot of joy. It made me realize how important I believe family vacations are.
We can come together for those days with nothing on our schedule. No school, no work, no dishes to do. There is only time to spend with each other.
We ventured out on our very first cruise. We stopped in Jamaica and the Grand Cayman islands. In Jamaica, my oldest swam with the dolphins. My youngest was not old enough to swim, but he was able to kiss and hug a dolphin. It is an experience that they will always remember.
Those are the memories I want my children to have, the memories that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives.
“Kids go where there is excitement. They stay where there is love.” – Zig Ziglar
Red was busy keeping Claret and Bruno out of the chocolate croissants and white chocolate mocha when a breezy Samantha Light-Gallagher swept into the M3 Coffee Shoppe. With an admonition for the Wombies to mind their paws, Red set out to see what Samantha had to say about Crazy Courage.
M3: Should we be all that concerned with your day job?
SLG: Not really. My day job does impact the amount of time I get to spend writing. I am a personal trainer during the day and a mother both day and night.
M3: *grins* I am with you there. So, writing, training, boys (plural)…did you take a hiatus?
SLG: Yes, I took a hiatus to focus on marketing Crazy Courage: A Young Widow’s Survival Guide. I do still write though. I spend some of my time thinking about new ideas for a book. When I come up with a great idea, I know it.
M3: Which leads me to believe you have something up your sleeve.
Stop by The M3 Blog to read the rest of the interview and see what I have in the works!
When I became a widow in 2010, I experienced the pain of losing my husband, but what was even harder to go through was my children losing their father. It was important to me that my children got the attention they needed to grieve.
Be sure to visit JCC Banter to read the rest of my guestpost on Parenting Through Tragedy.