Those Little Whispers

hand covering a mouth whispering in an earI think we may have all experienced the whispers.  The whispers are when you walk into a room or a general area where people are whispering about you.  They may not be saying anything negative or maybe they are, but  you know that they are talking about you.  It’s the quick glance that you get that usually gives it away.  What unconscious immediate reaction do you have?  It is a feeling that there is something wrong with you.  You begin to look back at the last time you saw these people and have a mini playback in your head.  You confirm that you did nothing that would cause these whispers.  Then you might check yourself out to see if something is out-of-place.  You do this as stealthy as possible as not to alert them you know they are talking about you and you are uncomfortable.  We do all these things, because it is in our nature. 

I am guilty of the whispers.  We learn it in grade school when we are discussing a classmate, accept then it normally came with a large amount of giggles.  This is likely something our parents taught us or we developed the trade somewhere along the way. 

As a widow, I felt these whispers.   They may or may not have been there all the time, but I saw the glances.  These glances might have been from the unfamiliar territory all of us were in.  They were probably all wondering what in the world do you say to someone who lost their husband.  While I remained guarded not wanting to face anyone or at times facing what these whispers meant.  

There was a time when I was on the other side.  I was not the one that lost their husband, but was an acquaintance of someone who had.  I knew very little about this person before they lost their husband.  I only saw them around.  One day, I went to a public place where I was immediately informed of the husband’s passing.  It was not from the widow, but from others spreading the word through their whispers.  It was the first thing said to me when I arrived.  It was as if it were the breaking news at 5 o’clock.  I sat back and listened to these whispers spread like a wildfire.  I heard each person’s perception.  It actually made me sick to my stomach listening to this.  I was not sure if it was due to the nature in which the discussion was happening or if it made me realize that this is how the news spread of my own husband’s death. 

There are also the whispers that spread like the game telephone. When they get back to you after they went through the gossip train you only hope they were distorted towards the end.  These are people’s judgments exposed to the world around them for each person to interpret.  Their perception combined with their judgments are spread to any listening ear. 

Judgments are cast on people like a plague at times and I am unsure why.  The judgments people make about your life and decisions are their judgments to own.  They are not yours and you should not let those judgments impact how you feel and what you are doing.  Unless they are positive and make you feel a bit better about yourself.  Keep those close to create a found confidence that keeps you motivated to accomplish what others have only spoken about!

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