A Widow’s Crazy Courage

Picture of Mike and Samantha

Mike and Samantha

On September 2nd, 2010, I received news that a wife and mother does not want to hear.  It was the news of my husband’s death.  He was killed in the line of duty by a drunk driver near United States and Mexican border.  I remember that day very vividly.  I cannot remember all the details of the days that followed. 

When I heard the news I cried, but only for a brief moment.  My thoughts began to race through my head and I thought about my two young children.  I was faced with explaining to them that their father was dead and not returning home.  That was the hardest thing I had to do was look into my children’s eyes and say those 4 words…your father is dead. I can’t explain to you how it takes even more of the life out of you than when you hear the words…your husband is dead.  As you look into your children’s eyes you see the very innocent life leave them, just as the life has left your eyes. 

Samantha and her two sons

Samantha and her two sons

My children and I have learned many lessons in the last 18 months.  We have learned how to make it through some very trying times.  I will be honest there were moments when I did not know how to be a mother to them.  To shield them from the pain that they were going through, but we made it through.  There have been thousands of tears, many long nights and days. 

My family has learned many lessons through this tragedy.  What I consider our biggest accomplishment is we once again love our  life.  It is not what we planned for, but we continue to live our life story, still holding on to my husband and their father’s memories. We have walked down our life’s path one foot in front of the other.  We are survivors!


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